Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness

Who knew the rock group Smashing Pumpkins 1995 release named in the title was a Christmas album? It certainly wasn't intended as such but it seems to me to fit. The rocker who wrote most the songs on the album said Mellon Collie spoke to " the human condition of mortal sorrow." Not bad for a rocker, eh? The album sold ten million copies in the U.S. and had seven Grammy nominations but before now it was never used in the context of a Christmas album. I actually know nothing of the album except my son had it and had a cool poster of the album cover on his bedroom wall as a teen. But if you've lived long enough, gone through the Christmas season enough times and you are honest, then you know: there is a melancholy and sadness lurking just below the surface of all the joy and festivities of the season. We don't talk about it, we may not admit to it, indeed part of all our frenetics of the holidays may be a mask to hide it, but it is there and Christmas brings it out. So go ahead, face it, name it, look it in the eye and don't ignore it or sweep it under the rug, Christmas has a sad face of grief under Santa's whiskers. Why is that you ask? It is because this time we have declared as joyous also points out what is missing and the loss we feel. This can't be helped. So you won't take that trip you always make, there's no one at the end of that road anymore. You gather for Christmas dinner and the chair where ______ always sat is empty. No one wants to sit in it but some little kid doesn't know any better and hops in it and you actually are relieved. But that empty chair reminded you of the loss and it hurts. Melancholy moment. Maybe it hits you when you gather 'round the tree to exchange gifts. There's one less this year to give and you pretend not to notice but you do. I still miss the pinky ring my nephew made everyone out of a dollar bill and gave at Christmas. You shake it off and go on but it hurts that the wreck took him from all, especially my sister. Melancholy moment. It may be the trip you planned, the dinner you shared, the toast you made, the cookies you stirred, the reminisces you recalled, but disease, age, distance, finances, broken relationships and death changed everything and Christmas and the holidays act like a magnifying glass bringing light to your loss. You feel like an ant under it. Melancholy and infinite sadness. This is the curse of our fallen world where there is loss, pain, sorrow and death. Christmas just seems to highlight this truth. But Christmas brings an even bigger truth: God has felt the pain and suffering and He wraps Himself in humanity and history to feel that pain and loss through His own human flesh. He knows and so He declares that these losses and separations need not be forever. Indeed, they have one root cause and it is humanity's sin-separation from God. It is His chair at our table we most need filled. It is supper with Him which can fill our empty souls. It is the trip through life with Him made possible by faith in Him that we most need to take. It is receiving His gift of eternal life that we most need to receive and that is why He stepped into history and humanity to deliver us and bring us hope and the promise of eternal life in our Father's home. I know next to nothing about Smashing Pumpkins but I'm learning more about the One who smashed the curse of sin on us all. In spite of the darkness, yea because of the darkness, the Light has come and the melancholy and sadness are no longer infinite nor are they eternal. They are mere shadows fading in the eternal Light of Jesus. So celebrate Christ-mas, the birth of the Christ, the Messiah, the Savior. Merry Christmas, Terry

The Domino Effect

It was a rough start to the last month of the year that was itself a tough one on many fronts. There were some bright spots: the quagmire-building in Afghanistan was moving forward, now nearing its ten-year anniversary. The government set new records in deficits, currently numbering into the trillions (whatever that is) with the promise of even greater deficits to come. Perhaps the best news was the the government bailout of the economy was working in that it only cost five-hundred thousand dollars to create one $8 per hour job. It was probably hard to notice these bits of good news in the wake of losing Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett so close together. These molders and shapers of American culture cannot be easily forgotten despite Octomom , Tiger Woods and Dancing With the Stars attempts to knock them from the headlines. Since I've always been a sucker for the underdogs I couldn't help but feel sorry for the other folks having a hard time this year. The poor Eggo people never stood a chance but to their credit they never waffled. In all the other good and bad news perchance you never heard-there's an Eggo shortage, a story no doubt pushed to the margarines of society. Yes, due to a flood in one factory and some equipment failures in another plant, there will a shortage of Eggo's for a few months. It's a cruel world. Aunt Jemimah and Mrs. Buttersworth were visibly shaken at the news but managed to keep their tops about them. This was remarkable for this pair is known for being syrupy and spilling their insides when pushed over by life's grasping hands. Unfortunately, Eggo hoarding has been widespread so when someone says "leggo my Eggo" you best be on guard. Don't look now, but there is also a pumpkin shortage. We managed to make it through Thanksgiving but the Christmas pumpkin pies may be smaller and more expensive if you can make them at all. Industry analysts have suggested using canned pumpkin pie filling or even sweet potato pie as a substitute. A spokesperson for SPI ( Sweet Potatoes Institute) decried the suggestions saying, "I yam what I yam! As a tuber that has known racial discrimination and profiling for years at the hands of white potatoes, we simply cannot comprehend why a fellow orange vegetable industry would place this burden on us." Perhaps the greatest injustice of recent days has been made against Lorraine Collette Peterson, better known as the Sunmaid Raisin girl. For over 90 years Lorraine was the the sign and symbol for one of America's healthiest snacks. That gig has dried up. Now, at least in advertisements, if not on the boxes themselves, Lorraine has been hung out to dry. A more modern Sunmaid girl now weaves through the vineyards picking raisins. Her features are more defined and she appears to have been working out or visiting her plastic surgeon. One commentator suggested she looked a bit like Julia Roberts with implants. I assumed he meant dental implants. The Sunmaid people thought a more modern looking woman might reach out to a younger clientele (then why did they keep the bonnet?). With our luck the ad campaign might work and we would have a shortage of raisins. That would force us to eat oatmeal-oatmeal cookies. Then we would have a shortage of oatmeal. That in turn would force us to change our breakfast habits and we would have to eat waffles. No, wait there's already an Eggo shortage! We're doomed! In our world there is no shortage of wars to wage but there is a shortage of wisdom on how to win a war we must not lose. Is there a way to wage peace in the face of fundamentalist terrorism? There is in our halls of government a shortage of money or is it possible that there simply was a shortage of discipline and responsibility and a flood of greed and selfish ambition teamed with instant gratification? In our culture there is an acute shortage of contentment, commitment and character. We've let the stars shape us instead of the One who shaped the stars. We place people on tall pedestals and the taller they are the more easier they are to topple. I've yet to hear much talk about Tiger Woods poor soul and the kind of sin sickness he must have to ruin a marriage, break hearts, risk losing those children except for weekends and summers and disappoint the God who so wonderfully blessed him. The questions are all about 'will he lose endorsements' and 'do you think he will still be able to play golf?' There but by the grace of God, a few billion dollars, and the best golf swing in the world go I. What do we do in a world where these shortages seem to have domino effect that topple governments with greed, nations with war, marriages by infidelity, and lives with empty worship? I suggest we embrace the domino effect. Look it up. Domino is a word of French origin taken from the Latin benedicamos. Domino means "let us bless the Lord." It came to be used of clergymen and the hooded robes they wore that came to be known as Dominos. One couldn't tell one clergyman from another in their dominos, they all just blessed the Lord. Could it be that if we embrace this domino effect to invest our lives in blessing the Lord instead of spending so much time, effort, money, emotion, entertainment and worship on ourselves that the shortages that are killing people and our planet would themselves dry up and blow away? Maybe that's the annual call of advent: to re-turn us to the One in whom there is never a shortage of peace, hope, joy and love. And in Christ we learn the world has been given what she really is longing for, a Savior who is in spite of our shortages... Dominus Invictus Terry

Fighting Demons

We all have them, including me. Those thoughts whose origins are closer to hell than heaven; those impulses to control, manipulate, judge, imply, marginalize, insinuate, or outright destroy; those tendencies to procrastinate, do poorly, disregard, or leave undone; those indulgences of body, mind, kids, friends, prejudices and worse, spirit that deflect responsibility to liberals, conservatives, Arabs, humanists, fast food, and easy gods; those inclinations to throw up the hands, throw in the towel, give up, go the way of the world, and resign to the philosophy of 'that's just the way things are and they ain't never gonna change!' Oh yeah, and maybe a few real demons thrown in for good measure but mostly in less civilized cultures, our made up ones are far more devastating. These demons show up as anger-at the dad for never being around, at the mom for hovering around too much, the spouse who never gave what was needed, at the boss for crazy demands, crazy schedules and ridiculous pay. They manifest themselves as sloth and withdrawal or they go around as their more respectable cousins-workaholism and frenzied activities.You see these demons in the family SUV going to sporting games that fill the calendar and are filled with empty young people with scurrying thumbs and un-stretched souls. In truth they can tell you how to spike a volley ball, throw a curve ball, shoot a basketball and how to have a ball but not how or why to live morally and purposely. All those miles in the back of a suburban and no conversations about Jesus... The demons of modern society goad us on to greed, materialism, apathy, and a brand of moralism that leaves out God and coronates self. With a proper self-image, a good education, a dose of toleration, a proper goal, and a tenacious spirit there's not too much a man or woman can't accomplish in this world. Of course, if someone should happen to have goals beyond this world and its achievements we can just label them as zealots. My demon? Its pretty obvious isn't it. It's name is Cynic. The ancient Greeks birthed its name in a gymnasium extolling virtue and hard work but its history is long, its effects, well, there weren't many positive long-range ones were there? I must fight my demon. I often am beaten down and lost in the fray. It's true, if you don't believe me read the first three paragraphs again. How do I fight this wicked monster and keep it from stealing all joy and hope in a fallen world? The answer is almost too easy. It's so easy it can be overlooked. It is easy to see the effects of a fallen world. We must learn to look deeper or at least differently to see the effects of grace. We who have developed a taste for this juicy demon empty of spiritual calories can find the fullest spiritual feast a bit chewy and the effort to savor that meal a real pain. But if I will but feed my soul this one food, I find myself nourished to dream and fight and persevere while at the same time starving the demon of its power to corrupt. What is this miracle food? It is Truth, plain and simple found in the gospel of Christ. The truth is God has not now nor has He ever abandoned His creation or His people. At this time in our world of war and rumors of war, disease and drought, H1N1 and AIDS, genocide, suicide, and homicide, He still moves. More people come to faith in Christ every day than at any time in history. Estimates are as low as 45,000 and as high as 60,000 people come to follow Christ as Lord each day in Africa, Asia, Europe, South America, and even several thousand in North America. The church now has over 2 billion who claim Christ as Saviour.* (Rick Warren's mission's website*)The church is so robust in Korea, Africa, and South America that these regions have sent missionaries to the United States to strenghten the church spiritually. Young ministers are sensing the call to ministry in great numbers in many denominations. These young men and women are not enamored with thoughts of power or prestige but will genuinely go anywhere and do all things to advance the kingdom of God and proclaim His righteousness. Their music is different, their methods are unconventional but they are reaching people in places like liberal western Europe that a few years ago was closed to the gospel. As more people are hurting the budgets of churches across our nation have felt the crunch, yet, the outpouring to relief agencies from individuals and churches is keeping such ministries afloat. The Red Cross estimates that during the relief efforts after hurricane Katrina, that 90 % of the meals it served in actuality came from local churches and church relief agencies. The churches responded quickly and effectively while the large agencies and government were tied up in red tape. A large percentage of our kids can expect to live to be a hundred years of age and were it not for lifestyle choices related to obesity and drugs those numbers would apply even greater for our grandchildren. Diseases are being cured or curtailed. Lives are being extended. Limbs can be repaired and joints replaced as never before. The God who said 'be fruitful and multiply' also said to mankind 'fill the earth and subdue it.' That is happening at a rate like never before. The advances will never lead to eternal life by themselves but they may very well extend the time a human has to hear the good news that salvation for eternity comes by no other name than the name of Jesus. So how do you live in such a world where the demons are very real and are seemingly everywhere you look, even internally? Look to the Truth and that Truth is Jesus revealed in His word. Read it. It will help you read the paper and listen to the news with an eternal perspective. We can learn to live with and interpret the times with a faith that is real and balanced. It will see the reality of evil but know the limits of it. It can face the uncertainties of life because it is based on the Certainty of eternity. This faith founded and built on Truth can see the obstacles to living and keep moving forward with joy because this faith enables him to see the end of evil, pain, and suffering in the Kingdom of God. Even a cynic can learn from the Bible truths for living abundantly. When the army of Israel faced the Philistines, the soldiers quaked at the sight of Goliath and effectively said, 'how can we fight such a huge enemy?' David looked at Goliath and said,'How can I miss?' And when you face that greatest of enemies, even the one called Death, and he stares that blank, lifeless stare into your life, stare back with the love of God and watch. It is death that blinks. Still Staring if not Standing, Terry

Exposed

I have hesitated to write anything about the tragedy of last week at Ft. Hood. So many capable writers, pastors, journalists and politicians have undertaken the task. Many have done so with somber beauty and crystal clarity. 'What could I add?' I thought. I was deeply saddened and enraged with teeth gritting anger. I (God forgive me) was a little miffed when I heard the gunman had lived. Did I really think I wanted another human being dead? I'm still not sure but one thing I wasn't too surprised about is that it happened. Maybe I'm becoming jaded so that even an attack on the world's largest Army post wasn't totally shocking. My lack of surprise had little to do with it being on an Army post, or that a fellow soldier did those people in, or that it was a Muslim that did it. I wouldn't have been surprised too much if a non-Muslim did it either. No it was something else that caused me to be only slightly surprised. Frankly, what surprises me is that there aren't more tragedies. Isn't that horrible to say? What's wrong with me? Am I sick in the heart or something? Maybe I am, but it's for another reason. I've read the Bible. It exposes the heart of humanity with awful honesty. No, there's not some secret prophecy hidden in Habakkuk or some other minor prophet that told me there would be a massacre in Ft. Hood. But the Bible does say this in Romans 3:23: "All have sinned and come short of the glory of God." What? You thought that meant we were just a little tarnished but basically good once Jesus polished us up a bit? No, it means we all have the evil that causes us to rebel against God and have the capacity to hurt our fellow man. Not clear yet? How about Jeremiah 17:9: "The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?" (The implication from the next verses and all the Bible is that only God can.) I looked up a dozen other "sinful" passages and they are amazingly consistent from Genesis 3 through the epistles of John--we are infected with the same evil and capable of horrific injustice. Lest we think we aren't, Jesus made it pretty clear how insidious, pervasive, and personal this sin is. Remember how He taught that if a man looks on a woman lustfully he's already committed adultery with her in his heart? If a man is angry with his brother he is guilt of murder (Matt. 5:21-22;27-28). The Bible also teaches of an evil loosed in the world who goes by the name of Satan. The Bible describes him as a thief, liar and murderer. Face it folks, the world is broken and we often trip over the rubble of our brokenness and break some more. I'm amazed more evil stuff doesn't happen and why doesn't it happen more? It's not because the human race is basically good. How many wars and massacres will it take to convince us of that? That's the bad news. The good news is that into a broken world where evil lives and breathes and has its being a tremendous power has also been loosed. That power is the grace and love of God manifested in the person of Jesus Christ. Therefore our hope is in Him and His power to forgive, cleanse, restore and re-create the hearts of men surrendered to His will. This power still moves and lives in the church, Christ's followers, to share the good news of salvation and hope through Jesus Christ. The hope we have is not just in this life but in the life to come. Our hope is an eternal hope that is not stopped by the bullets of a mad man or the ideology of madmen. Our hope is not defined by the length of physical life but by the quality (think abundant) and quantity (think eternal) of life lived by faith in Christ. Whoa, I went off in preaching mode there didn't I? Sorry about that. Capacity. Is that a full or empty word for you? I suppose that depends on how you answer. What fills you? We all have the capacity for evil, horror, and unspeakable sin. Some of it comes out in some peoples lives very publicly and tragically. For many people, the horror and evil is borne internally, with only the guilt and stress of keeping it in check causing our lives to crack a bit from time to time. Jesus has borne our sin. There is no need to carry the burden, it has been lifted. Nidal Hasan either didn't get the message or chose to ignore it. What was in his heart was exposed, and it came to the surface in a horrific act of cowardice and in a manner exposed the problem of the human race. We need help. It has come. Hasan cried out "Allah Akbar" (God is great in Arabic) before he began shooting. But he really didn't know what that meant. One day he will. What will you do with the good news of Christ? Please continue to pray for the families of those who lost their lives and for the recovery of those injured in the Ft. Hood tragedy. Terry

Unseen Hands

Chaos

Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters...........Genesis 1: 2 Formless? Empty? The words of Genesis 1:2 are hauntingly cold in their assessment of the world before God's creative activity is seen. The word for formless (NIV) is rendered desolate, worthless, confusion or nothing in other venues. The word used for empty is seen in other works and places as void, a ruin, a vacuity. The world before Genesis 1:3 was a place of darkness, chaos-- nothingness on steroids. But on this chaotic void of dark confusion and emptiness there was nonetheless hope for it also states that the Spirit of God was hovering, brooding, on the waters. That word for moving implies to flutter, to envelope as a hen broods over her nest so the Spirit moves over the primordial waters. Was it waters? The word is used also for urine, semen, and waste. In the wasted, chaotic nothingness that was called 'world' before creation God was present, moving, about to change nothingness into glorious beauty and fill emptiness with Himself. Creatio ex nihilo-creation from nothing, now that is something! Imagination can't soar high enough to capture even a scintilla of the wonder of Creation. We see its results in nature and in people and still marvel. Watching Ken Burns' The National Parks on PBS this week has left me in awe and filled with sadness at the same time. Awe, because the sights are indescribable, sad because I've not seen them in person. The brooding of the Spirit over the lives of people and the creation He still works in them is even more breathtaking. Imagine a soul, a real, living person whose life is filled with emptiness, confusion, darkness and is wasted regarding any thing permanent or eternal. They most likely are not even aware of their own darkness because its all they know and its all they see around them. Then the Spirit of God speaks and the light comes on and the ugly void of life without God in the heart is awakened to its purpose and the journey begins. I recently saw a glimpse of this again with the building of our home and the subsequent move into it. The canvas wasn't blank but it appeared more barren than most places to build a house in our community. It was not on the bluff overlooking the lake with their shimmering vistas. It was not on the golf course with the tranquil beauty those lots afford. It was not heavily wooded teeming with wildlife, although it had a great set of trees out front. That was all, no other trees, just the one big one in front and the lot and those around it were so nondescript that telling people where it was drew mostly blank stares despite the fact that it was clearly seen from the main road. The previous owner no longer valued it much and so the plain, empty lot with a good tree was about to be brooded over. Applied to it now was the creative art of all-world home builder Ron Roberts and his crews of craftsmen. Land was scraped, leveled and forms were set. Foundations went down and frames went up. Rooms became distinct where before there were prickly pear and native grasses. Where darkness exercised its reign now light competes at the flick of a switch. Strength, beauty, and utility were taking over where nothingness once ruled. The land bent and conformed to Ronnie's hand and in a matter just a few months, a house was born. But it was empty, void, looking good on the outside but with nothing on the inside but possibilities. I did my part with the help of the six Seraphim (the men who helped me move). All the accumulations of the ages was now under the same roof. But it was still without form and chaos ruled. Where's my socks? Where's my phone? Where o, where is my life in this mess? Then Pam began to brood and her spirit began to move over the face of the home. Beds for resting and re-creation were placed; dishes filled cabinets; chairs filled rooms, electronic devices to keep in touch with or be touched from the world found their niche. Where weeds claimed squatters rights, now there is grass; where there were vines, now there resides hollies and jasmine; where rocks grew deep now a fence stands straight; where a breeze once moved on nothing now cools the brow of the tired owner who rests on a porch that overlooks a valley from which a steeple extends its spire and a place that once was easily missed in passing now shares a vision of life and its living for miles and miles. It was there all the time, it just took some one to see it, invest in it, and work it. Even this creative process can't compare to what Christ does when He begins to move over the hearts that are choked by the cares of this world and living in darkness without Him. When He moves over those hearts and new life with Him begins, even the angels can't explain its joy (I Peter 1:12) for no eye has seen and no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love Him (I Cor. 2:9). Your life chaotic, dark, and feeling wasted? Maybe not you but someone you love feels that way? Pray for the same movement of the Spirit of God over the face of your depths and watch what he can do with a Word. And God said, " Let there be light," and there was light. ...it was good... Terry