You Can't Go Home Again

     You can't go home again. Thomas Wolfe's character said that in the novel by the same name seventy plus years ago. George Webber, the character in the novel laments that "you can't go back to your family, back home to your childhood...back home to a young man's dreams of fame and of glory...back home to the old forms and systems of things which once seemed everlasting but which are changing all the time--back home to the escapes of time and memory."
     Maybe he was right, but sometimes we try. I went home again last Friday.
     The occasion was a homecoming football game. I'd seen the mighty Bulldogs play a few times in the playoffs in the 39 years since I'd graduated. But I had not been to a football game in Milford since the fall of 1973. Otis Carter, my friend and classmate now coaches the Bulldogs and sent me an invite. Ann, our associate pastor, also from Milford sent me a schedule.
     So I went home, again, for the first time.
     In many ways Wolfe was right. It was the same Horton Field, named after the first coach Milford had after it decided football was back to stay. He died from a rattlesnake bite the spring after his first year at Milford. He didn't let the Bulldogs compete for the district crown that year as he thought they wouldn't be ready. They won every game. I wonder if many know that story? The streets were the same but the businesses were different. No bank, no grocery store, feed store, two pharmacies, two cafes and five gas stations. No, I can't go home to that hometown again. It was the same streets, and even if the businesses hadn't changed, I had. I see them through eyes that have traveled many years, and that in itself changes how I look at things.
     But I didn't go home to see streets, businesses, and football fields, I went to see people. I found some. They were the same people, with the same names I knew back when, but all had new faces. Oh, the old faces were still there, but they were new faces nonetheless. The stylus of time etches into all our faces the lines of joy and sadness; dreams faded and dreams realized; companionship enjoyed and lonliness endured. Grief and tragedy had painted some faces with their harsh hues. Grace and peace had brightened others. Most of the faces, by this age, had been etched and painted by all of these at one time or another and in varying degrees. So the faces were new, but not completely...........
      I recognized them, mostly. They recognized me, mostly. We helped each other when the name didn't come. We talked of families and grandkids (Janie and Karen have ten grandkids each). I saw the first woman I married. She still had long black hair and I mistook her daughter for her at first. Her husband, the first man I married, hadn't changed much. David and Penny have been married nearly 40 years now. I chuckled that my first wedding, when I knew nothing about what I was doing has lasted the longest. Larry was still funny. Otis is the coach he always was, pouring his life into kids. Karen is still kind. Ken is still a  lanky cowboy. Pinky still has faith and hope. I reminisced with black friends and white friends. We laughed a bit. Then it got quiet. Not much to talk about except the past and that past that was a long time ago.
     In many ways Wolfe was wrong. You can go home again, especially if you are at home with change. Who changed more? Me or Otis? Me or Janie? Me or David or Larry or Karen? How do you measure a life of changes? You can't, you just live them and accept them as a price of living. For the Christian being at home is about change. Christ has changed our destinies. Christ has changed guilt to freedom. Jesus changes fear to hope. He will one day change the pain to joy and in His grace...oh His grace, we can even get a taste of it now and can only imagine what our homecoming will be one day.
      In a moment, in the twinkling of an eye...we shall be changed. (I Cor. 15:51-52 kjv)
     And then, we shall all go home, again.

Cos

Weird Values

                                                Weird Values


 I ended last week's article with a set of weird values. I didn't know I would be out weirded. I should have guessed. Some of the weirdness was sick and tragic. Some weirdness was greatly anticipated and seen as newsworthy. Some of the weirdness was comical.

This time last week I didn't know a new species of monkey would be found in the Congo. It totally surprised the researchers. Apparently, the monkey was also surprised to know he hadn't existed before. I also didn't know about a South Korean rapper named Gangman who has launched a dance video that has gotten 20 million YouTube hits in less than a month. It's a cheesy bit that is somewhat reminiscent, they say, of riding a horse. If you ride a horse like that in Texas you could be shot. I also didn't know the new iphone 5 was coming out. It made headlines and has every morning news show giving it time and discussing it's new features. People hadn't figured out iphone 4 yet have they? The greatest feature for Apple is it costs more. A monkey? A horsey video? A phone? It is weird how we react to these "news" items. Much hoopla, much TV time, and a lot of buzz on the internet. The monkey will keep being the monkey he has always been. The horsey dance video will fade when something goofier comes out. The new phone will be the greatest thing since, since the last one came out and until the iphone 6 makes its debut. What do these occurrences say about our values?

On the tragic and sick side of weird is the reaction to a poorly made, poor quality film deriding Mohammad that was made in the US but shown on YouTube in the Middle East. It has caused riots in three countries and apparently caused Al Qaeda to seize the opportunity ( maybe they orchestrated it) and invade a diplomatic outpost in Libya and kill four Americans. Is their god so slight, so vindictive, so sensitive that he would allow his followers to break several commandments to defend his honor from idiots not even present in the places they rioted?  Is there a point where the Majesty, Truth, and Holiness of a god is so high above the idiocy of man that their insults can't reach him? Is he not capable in the last days to bring vengeance to those who actually insult him without harming the innocent?  In Islam, apparently not.

All these news items from the goofy to the heartbreaking say something about the values behind their creation and the values behind the reactions to them. The values in these episodes show fear, anger, vindictiveness, trivia, boredom, arrogance and self-serving pleasure. I've been guilty of all these at one point or another in my life. Which brings me to my ideal list.

The list from last week was : eating; stretching; forgetting; resting; investing. Yes, at first glace that is a weird set of values. Let me explain..........

Eating: Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.  Psalm 34:8
           How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth! Psalm 119:103
            Take and eat; this is my body.... Matthew 26:26
           Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise his up at the last day. For my flesh is real food and my blood is real drink....he remains in me and I in him.   John 6:54-56

Stretching:  Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already become perfect, but I press on the take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: forgetting what is behind and straining forward (stretching) to what is ahead. Ephesians 3: 12-14
Forgetting: For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more. Hebrews 8:12 and Jeremiah 31: 31-34.    (also see above Eph. 3:12-14)
Resting: Come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you  rest. Matthew 11:28
               A faith and knowledge resting on the hope of eternal life, which God, who does not lie, promised before the beginning of time....Titus 1:2
                This is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts and he knows everything.  I John 3:19ff
Also Hebrews 4
Investing: Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.  Matthew 6:33-34
                  Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured in your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.   Luke 6: 37-38.
                  God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown his people and continue to help them.  Hebrews 6:11

If I wasn't weird, my list of values would contain words like honor, respect, integrity, passion, commitment, truthfulness, kindness, contentment, joy, trust, justice, mercy, and generosity. I can fit each of these into the five categories of values I have chosen. The point is to think, consider, ponder, play with and ultimately assemble your own list and then live the list. I would imagine a great number of people actually live out some great values that they never put into words. Unfortunately, our present coming generations not only need to have the values lived before them, they need to know the words and concepts of what values actually are and from where these values have arisen. Homes, marriages, businesses, governments, and lives are floundering from a lack of values worth living. Rise up o church of God and shine the light of  God's truth on the world around you. Maybe then many will quick living for the next gadget, fad, or worldly promise that comes along and pick the pearl of great value.

Value Added,
Cos

What Would You Take With You?

                                           What Would You Take With You?


The recent and annual seasons of natural disasters got me to thinking about it. What would I take with me if the authorities told me I had thirty minutes to gather some belongings and evacuate before disaster hit? I suppose I'd gather some important documents like the will, insurance policies, and recipes for home made ice cream and cobbler. Some clothes would be on the list, especially clean underwear (something my mother told me). I'd gather the dogs up and stick them in the back seat. I likely grab the plastic box of family pictures and albums of grandkids pictures. I also make room for the wife and hope her list was shorter, but I doubt it would be. There would always be regrets but I'd be thankful for what I could get and the thirty minutes warning, many never get even that.

The hurricanes, tornadoes, mud slides, earthquakes, and floods can significantly reduce or destroy our valuables in a matter of minutes. But here is a wonderful truth: Nothing can reduce or destroy our values. The values of who we are, what kind of human beings we are stay with us like breath. There become a part of us, recognized by our loved ones and close friends just like they would our face. Values seemed to be under valued these days compared with valuables, the stuff we like a lot. That is a shame. We have increasingly become a people known more for what we have than who we are. That is a shame. One of the reasons that is a shame is that it is a sham. Any hurricane or tornado can take away those things which are not lasting but who and what you are in character lasts and goes with you.

Back in my younger days when I worked with more young people I'd initiate conversations about values. When meeting with younger staff members I'd work it in. In doing pre-marital counseling I'd be direct. In occasionally addressing youth groups or young adults, values where always included somewhere in the teaching, preaching, and discussion. I'd ask questions like what values are sacred to you? I'd ask what values modeled by parents, relatives, teachers, coaches and friends shaped you? In your marriage, at your work, in your home, what values will you share? I'd ask new parents what are the top five values you hope to instill in your children? I got a lot of blank stares, kinda like the looks I get when I preach.

Our nation, our youth, our marriages are starving for an infusion of values. I categorized for my own amusement three areas that are valued by too many segments of our society. We value belonging, bling, and bargains. We want to feel a part of something important, powerful, safe, fun, edgy, or meaningful. People fill this need by joining health clubs, service groups, gangs, shopping networks, and signing up for facebook and twitter. We add houses, jewelry, ithis or ithat, gadgets, trips, clothes, and a dozen other good things. We then value and seek the bargains for the stuff that will make us feel better and help us fit and function in our group better.  But what values do the groups themselves espouse or share? What values are sacred to that group? In too many cases the belonging, the bling, and the bargains propagates self, materialism, and making the group bigger. In the end many people feel more isolated, poor, confused, disillusioned, angry, fearful and cynical about the world and its people. Life can be a vicious circle unless there are lasting, solid values shaping, guiding, guarding and enhancing our lives.

Jesus offered all the belonging, bling, and bargains we will ever need but they are based on true values--the value based on His character, His power, His will, and His kingdom's life. He promised in John 1:12 that as many as received Him, he gave them the right, the power, to become children of God. That's a good family to belong to. In Ephesians 1: 3 Paul declared that Jesus has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. Wow, talk about bling! And bargains? Look at Ephesians 2:8-9: For it is by grace that you have been saved, through faith--and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God---not by works, so that no one can boast. Try and beat that price.

So what values would you take with you if disaster stuck? Since disasters don't happen to us everyday, thankfully, here is a better question:  what values do you hold sacred, allow to shape you, and which ones do you seek to share every day as life strikes? List five or ten for yourself. Write them down and stick them in your Bible. Read them often. Need some help? Look at the ten commandment in Exodus 20 and Deuteronomy 5  as a source. The Beatitudes in Matthew 5 are a huge source. Paul has lists of vices and virtues in nearly every letter he wrote to churches in the New Testament. Take a look at Galatians 5:22, Eph. 6, Philippians 3-4 has some great values listed. Colossians 3 has both positive and negative lists. Take a look at these and others you discover and form your own list. Then you will know what you will take with you when disaster or every day life strikes.

My top five values are as follows: Eating; Stretching; Forgetting; Resting; Investing. Oh, you think I need to explain how those are good values? Oops. Out of space for today........

Value Added,
Cos

A Boy Named Sue Probably Should

                                   A Boy Named Sue Probably Should


It's one of the first, if not the first things you learn about a person. You might first see their face, assess their smile or the lack of it, or check out the color of their eyes or their overall shape before you hear it. If you are on the phone or being told about another person it is either the first thing you remember or the first thing you forget. It is a person's name.

Names must be important because everyone has one. In the south and southwest they often have two names, just ask Becky Sue or Billy Jack. Even God has a name and when God became flesh and dwelt among men He announced His name to his earthly parents before He was born. You will also notice that God had a habit of changing names of people He encounters. Abram he changes to Abraham; Sarai to Sarah; Jacob to Israel; even Cephas to Peter. Each name change He gave signified a change of outlook, character, and expectation. Eugene Peterson, author of The Message translation of the Bible, says "naming is a way of hoping. We name a child after someone or some quality that we hope he or she will become---a saint, a hero, an admired ancestor. Some parents name their children trivially after movie stars and millionaires. Harmless? Cute? But we do have a way of taking on the identities that are prescribed for us. Millions live out the superficial sham of the entertainer and the greedy exploitations of the millionaire because, in part, significant people in their lives cast them in a role or fantasized an illusion and failed to hope a human future for them."  A pastor in 16th century England would not "admit vain or idle names" of children at their baptism. He knew a name meant something.

I fear we have forgotten the message contained in a good name. We have settled for labels. Labels are easier   somewhat helpful but too often just lazier. We label people instead of getting to know them. They are republican or democrat. They are Catholic or Baptist, Christian or Muslim. That is a label, not a name. She is a lawyer or businesswoman. Label, not name. He's a jock or a nerd. Label. "Hello, Coach." " How's the Preacher?" "Politician" "Engineer" "Computer Geek'' "Goth" "Gang Banger" "Young" "Old" "Geezer" "Fossil" and then they go down hill and can get nasty. We forget the person, the name, and see a hard-headed old geezer preacher who is a stubborn as a mule or we see a young, arrogant, video playing punk with no manners or goals in life. There was a time when both were about 7 pounds and 21 inches long and their parent (s) named them David. What their parents saw then, God still sees now.

I find it interesting to look at lists of the most popular names of babies. For girls in the US in 2011 the top five (NameLab internet source) were Sophia, Isabella, Emma, Ava, and Emily. A trend toward older names and a slight slant toward a Latin influence is detected. For boys it was Jacob, Mason, William, Jayden, and Noah. ( In England, Mohammad has come in the top 35 for the first time,2011) I find it interesting that on the girls side only a couple of the names were from the Bible, not that I think  too many young parents think of the Bible when naming their kids. On the boys side, seven of the top 20 were "Biblical" names like Jacob, Noah, Matthew, Andrew, and James. I am pretty sure that the bible wasn't consulted because of the name not there. The apostle who wrote most of the new Testament and took the gospel west ( eventually to us) was not in the top 50. "Paul" isn't popular anymore. Apostles and Beatles stars  lose their clout after a while, I guess.

One of the powers that the New Testament church possesses is the naming of persons (apologies to Mr. Tournier).  One can treat people as persons, humans made in God's image, and call them by name.  The church can refuse to label and embrace the humanity of a person by calling their name. We can speak grace to a person by the way we use their name on our tongues,  in face to face encounters and by how we speak of them to others. (That is why the New Testament sees gossip as so insidious.) People in church can speak prophetically to others by attaching to a person and their name solid virtues and values so that when a person sees us, they see themselves as the one we see as encouraging, helpful, servant-hearted, merciful, kind, wise or loving. That kind of prophecy lifts and gives something to live up to. It is about building each other up in love and it begins with a name.  In Acts 4, Joseph, because of his actions, was called Barnabas, son of encouragement. Jesus did this with Cephus, pebble, who he said would be Peter, a rock. Jesus did this with Nathaniel in whom He saw no guile. He did this with John who had the nickname (label) son of thunder. He spoke in to him love and John became the disciple Jesus loved and wrote the epistle of love, I John.

In Revelation 3:17 Jesus tells the saints who hang in and overcome that He will give them "a white stone with a new name written on it, known only to him who receives it."  The white stone was given to slaves who had been freed. It was their "papers" or passport. It often had their free name on it not their old slave name. It was a way in which a troubled church in troubled times was reminded that in Christ they were free from sin and hell and free to live as sons and daughters of the Living God. This kept their spiritual eyes looking up and forward even in the midst of the decay all around them. We need that message today and the world needs that message from the church today. We can share a profound truth of God's love, grace, transformation, and hope with the simple use of a name. What will you call the next person you encounter?

Cos

Wishing Prayers

                                                          Wishing Prayers


The bible doesn't say anything about wishes. I wish it did.

The dictionary says a wish is to want; a desire; a longing for something. We all do that. We wish we were there; we wish they were here. We wish we had seen that game, sunk that putt, had one more day of vacation. We wish we had a little more money and maybe a lot more time or vice-versa. We wish we hadn't said that or that they, usually someone we love, hadn't said what they said to us. We wish our kids had better jobs, or better paying jobs, or just had jobs. We wish our daughters hadn't married that kid but sometimes we are later glad they did. We wish we were smarter, thinner, stronger, and nearly anything ending in "er."

When you analyze wishes, and I realize that in itself is probably wrong, you find yourself playing around with reality, its past, and its consequences. That's why wishes are a lot like balloons you fill with you own wind and then release them to watch them fly away for a moment only to make their flapping sound and fall on the floor. Wishes don't change the past, alter circumstances, or make for a brighter future.

When you wish, where does it go? The Disney folks would tell us to wish on a star. Legend tells us we can wish on a shooting star or the evening star if we want them to come true. It seems pretty risky to throw your wants, desires, and longings for better, greater, more wonder in life out in the air like that. There's no telling in our electronic, internet, cloud server days who or what might get hold of it.

I have to confess that when it comes to wants, desires, and longings, well, my prayers may be a lot like wishes. That's probably not a good thing. My prayers contain praise, wonder, confession, and just meditating on the Living God and His awe but a big part of them ask. But, and I'd never tell God this, a lot of times my petitions feel awfully close to wishes. I use the word pray and I pray for Joe Bob's cousin's cancer surgery in Milwaukee to be successful. I pray about people's illnesses, surgeries, and marriages. I pray for people to be saved and some who are to act like it. I pray for a lot of victims these days from war, famine, senseless violence, terrorism and accidents. I pray a lot for my wife, kids  grand kids and family. I try to balance my prayers with just being with the Lord, in His word, praising, thanking and not asking so much. But truthfully, my wants, desires, and longings for people I love and a world gone mad with immorality get away from me and I ask a lot. They sound a lot like wishes. I've never read in the Bible the term wishing prayer and I doubt any theologian would sanction such a prayer, but I don't seem to be able to help myself sometimes and I find myself offering wishing prayers.

What is the difference between wishing and praying? I guess the line is pretty thin at times but one thing I know is this: a wish has really no where to go. It is flung out to stars, genies, and the air. Ahh, but a prayer, a prayer goes somewhere. It flies with the speed of thought to a real Someone who can hear, discern, and in His way and time, answer. Prayers are longings, desires, wants, and hopes grounded in His reality and given to the God who Himself gives us the ability to hope, dream and desire. He doesn't change the past with our prayers but can change our futures ( I was once going to hell, but Jesus changed that), sometimes He changes our present circumstances but most often He changes us to be able to meet our circumstances with His love, endurance, wisdom, patience, and joy.

I will probably keep offering wishing prayers. I figure God can sort them out better than I can anyway. Maybe a prayer is a wish that knows wheres its going and Who will receive it.

The Bible doesn't say anything about wishes, that doesn't keep me from praying.

Cos

The Peril of Peaking Early

                                                    The Perils of Peaking Early


I have always loved the Olympics, especially the summer games. My earliest recollection of the games were the 1960 Rome Olympics. I could read just a little. There were grainy pictures on the television I suppose but I don't remember them. I remember the pictures in the Ft. Worth Star Telegram and my dad explaining the Olympics to me. The 1964 Tokyo games had more tv coverage and I could read better by then. Most of the events I watched were not live but films shown later. I remember Bob Hays  and his bobble-head running style and hardly any one being in the same frame with him because he was so far ahead. I had a vague sense of the rivalry with Russia that grew with the cold war.

I don't know if it is my age or the ugly part of human nature that seems to seek out villains so we will feel better about ourselves or our position, but I miss the cold war rivalry with the commies. With every race, throw, jump, or game, it was as if our way of life in a free democracy was being confirmed every time we won. If we lost the commies cheated with drugs, paid athletes, and sympathetic iron curtain officials whose families were probably held captive until they helped the commies win.(Proof--1972 men's basketball) Of course, we still have Communist nations, mainly China, at the Olympics but since they hold the mortgage on America we can't whine too much lest they foreclose.

These Olympics have also shown what a competitive disadvantage the USA has in the "backyard" sports. With the exception of beach volleyball and one skeet shooter, the US has been getting their butt kicked. "Backyard" sports? Those are the games we usually play in the backyard for fun. (Remember, I grew up on a farm  and we literally shot shotguns in the backyard.) Ping pong--China.  Trampoline--China, Russia.  BB gun shooting--China, Romania. Bow and Arrow---Korea, Italy (we did get a silver in one archery contest) What we will have to do is what we did with the winter Olympics. The USA was pretty bad at those until we combined some sports and got them into the Olympics. We combined snow, snowboarders, and really crazy kids and created snowboarding half-pipe, snowboarding downhill racing, skiing and twisting and dancing in the air and got those in the winter games. Since we have lots of crazy kids that had learned to creatively fall off mountains we excel at those sports. We will need to do the same for the backyard sports in the summer.

If we had a sport that combined bb gun, trampoline and skeet shooting we might do well. You could fix targets to the trampoline guys and shoot the targets as they jumped and twisted. More points if you hit the target while he's twisting and turning. Of course, if you shot out an eye you would be disqualified and be forced to watch "The Chrsitmas Story" every Christmas until the next Olympics. I'm still working on the rules for putting ping pong and bow and arrow together. I'd like to get the ribbon twirlers in here somewhere since I never understood that as being a sport anyway. Durn commies did that better too. I think maybe putting it with synchronized swimming and sharks might be interesting.

I will watch the last week of the Olympics and enjoy the contests but I'm not emotionally invested or attached like I used to be. The thrill of victory and the agony of defeat aren't felt in sport for me like they were when I was 20, 30, or even 40. For the most part, excellence in sport comes early in life. A gymnast is old at 20. A sprinter is done by 30. A basketball player is ancient at 38. Even gentle golf has to have an old man's tour for those over 50. What do you do when you have dedicated most of your life, all of your energy of mind and soul to your sport or business for that matter? What do you do when you peak at 16, or 26, or 36? Even if you are one of one percent who made a lot of money at it, what is the next 50 or 60 years of life about for you? I knew, briefly, the world champion shot putter. You don't know his name. After he set the record he mentioned in an article a feeling of emptiness that overcame him. "Is that it?" he asked. If what we do doesn't fill that God-shaped hole in our soul then we will ask after every achievement, '' is that it?"

...but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do : Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."     Philippians 3:12-14

Not yet peaked,
Cos

PS: I wonder what anthem heaven plays when we receive the prize and the crown? I like to hear your suggestions...........

A Broken Heart

                                                   A Broken Heart


He wasn't entirely old by working world standards, about 62, but in ministry terms he felt 90. He drove over to the next town twenty-five miles away to be alone and not be recognized by any church members. Besides that little town had a neat park with a little lake and at 42 degrees that afternoon the chances were he'd have a park bench, if not the lake, to himself. It was a bit dumb, at least he felt that way, but he wanted to get cold and shiver and feel, feel anything even if it was pain for a while. That would surely beat this numbing pall and depression that had settled over him.

He found a bench and found himself alone with his pity. He was a few hours from standing before his elder board and announcing he was quitting. After thirty eight years in various forms of ministry he was finished, tired, worn out. It was over. He thought the thought of quitting would bother him, scare him, saddened him. It hadn't. He was worried about finances a little but not much else. That fact alone, that the idea that quitting hadn't bothered him much bothered him most. So here he was, alone, thinking, praying, wondering, seeking and trying to hurt.

He hadn't noticed a man had come right up behind him. He about jumped out of his wits when the man spoke..."it's a bit brisk isn't it? I kind of like it. This cold wind makes me feel alive and invigorated. And this is my favorite bench too, mind if I sit here a bit with you?" Before the old pastor could speak his new bench guest was down beside him. He wanted to protest. He wanted to leave. But he was a pastor, he had been trained to tolerate, stay, listen, like a good dog. He was paid to be nice. The meanest thing he could muster was silence. The way the stranger had started off, he was afraid that the intruder would start chatting. He didn't. He sat silent. The old pastor noticed the man was younger, maybe early thirties, thin. He seemed thoughtful and if there is such a thing as a gentle demeanor, he had it. Yes, he felt he'd been invaded, but the invader wasn't aggressive, thankfully.

After being quiet a while, the younger man spoke. "I love lakes...come to them often... the sound...the rhythm, they have a healing touch for me. I've not seen you here before. Are you from around here?" "No," the old pastor gave in a bit, " down the road a bit. I just needed to be alone and think." Maybe the younger man would take the hint. He didn't.  They were silent a while longer. The young man spoke gently again. "Aren't you a pastor, I seem to recall your presiding over some funerals I've attended."  "You are observant. I pastor in the next town over, at least for a little while longer?"  "Oh, are you changing churches?'' The young man's gentle manner, quietness, and manner of speech had some how  won confidence from the old preacher. He wasn't sure why but he began to tell the young man what was going on in his heart and head.

"To be honest, in about four hours I will walk into an elder board meeting I called and announce I'm quitting. I just don't think I can do this anymore." "Well, sir, let me be honest with you," the younger offered.  "I'm in the ministry, too, and maybe I showed up here today to listen to you.  Maybe that will help a bit, it's pretty obvious you are hurting."   "Well, thanks. I wish that were true. The trouble is I'm almost beyond hurting. I don't know if I can hurt anymore."  "What brought you to this point where you are about to leave nearly 40  years of ministry?" ("Odd, I don't remember telling this young man how long I'd been in the ministry. He's pretty observant, pretty obvious with a little math I guess." ) "Well, it's not one thing, it is a lot of things, seems like everything. This world I can hardly recognize anymore. The work of ministry is getting harder and harder. The church seems so irrelevant. Our morals are in the toilet. In Arizona, it is illegal to have home churches in some towns. New York kicked churches out of schools they had rented for services for decades. The Supreme Court had to rule on that case to let them in. If you hold to Biblical values anymore you are the minority and are called bigoted and intolerant. Our demonination is debating same-sex marriage. They are actually debating it! I can't remember the last time a young couple wanted me to marry them that wasn't living together. Shoot, older couples are coming to me to be married and they have already moved in together. This moralistic, therapeutic, deism in our world is killing us and I don't think I'm having any effect whatsoever in moving people to faith or along in the faith. I might as well quit!"

The old preacher got it out finally. The pain, confusion, the frustration just flooded out. The young man listened. He listened well. He mumbled barely audible words while the old preacher went off. He said something about Elijah in I Kings 19: 13-14. When the preacher hit on the ills of the world he said something about John on Patmos and saints in catacombs. But mostly he just listened. Finally, after the smoke of the pastor's rant had cleared a bit, he asked the a question: "If you could sum up in one sentence why you are leaving the ministry you were called to and loved for so long, what would it be?"
"I guess you could say that my ministry has just died... it died of a broken heart..."
The young may stood and pulled his coat around him a little tighter and extended a hand to shake the old pastor's hand goodbye.  The old man reach to take his hand and noticed an ugly scar on his wrist. The young man held the old man's hand firm. The old man looked up and saw the younger gazing deeply into his eyes, more like his own soul really. "A broken heart, huh? Ironically, that's why I went into ministry."

Revelation 3:11-13