Second in a series of Lenten devotions. Giving up something is associated with Lent, but taking up something may be the greater lesson and joy.
Step into John 8.........
Every emotion seemed to pulse through her veins. Her eyes would grow wide with fear and narrow with anger. Her eyes would well up with tears at the hopelessness of the situation and deaden seeing no sights as she welcomed the relief from this embarrassment that death would bring. And she knew she would die. She was guilty. She was caught. But she had been guilty before, many times. But she sensed this time was not really about her guilt. That truth didn't help much. She would soon be condemned and stoned. Her resigned heart felt the weight of sadness unto death. Her indignation at being only one of two adulterers dragged half naked from bed so early in the morning, pushed through the streets and thrown down at the feet of this rabbi rose up in her and made her want to spit. But her mouth was dry.
She half heard the accusations--adultery--half heard the law half recited--stone such women--but she listened intently for the expected sentence from the holy man. She had heard his name before, what was it, o yeah, Jesus-some kind of holy man, some even said Messiah. Yeah right. These priests didn't like him-saw him as a threat. Maybe if he says "death by stoning" they will show mercy to make him look bad to the people, mean, unmerciful, if that is what all this is about. If they agree and stone her, at least the circus is over, the pain of guilt she had long felt would go away. Maybe he would say to have mercy and forgive and then they would accuse him of disobeying the law-unfit for a rabbi holy man. Either way she was just a forgotten, worthless pawn in their politics and religion. Either way they would get to him, and they both would pay the price. But life is cheap and she had felt its cheapness a long time and she had made bad choices for that same long time. She was out of choices now.
He just draws on the ground. Why won't he answer? They keep prodding, he says nothing, just draws. Say something, man, and get this over with! Finally he speaks, "Let him who has no sin cast the first stone."
Silence. For several uncomfortable moments, silence. In the silence the truth sank in, it deeply sank in. The "thud" of a stone being dropped to the ground finally broke the silence as an old man slowly trudged off. Then another, and another, and another. And then just two remained. "Woman, where are they? His voice was light, airy, almost funny as if a magician had made a rabbit disappear. "Has no one condemned you?" "No one, sir," but in her heart she knew one had condemned her, herself. She had lived with guilt and self-condemnation all her life. She had looked for men and their approval or desire to cure her of this self-loathing and only felt used and further condemned. Her laughter had been large but she felt her heart shrink in condemnation and grow harder with each new lover. "Then neither do I condemn you. Go, and leave your life of sin."
Silence. For several uncomfortable moments, silence. In the silence, the truth sank in, it deeply sank in. The "thud" of a stony heart being dropped and replaced with a new one, a forgiven one, finally broke the silence. Leave a life of sin? The possibility never occurred to her, but with the condemnation of sin removed, the power to do so now became a reality. He who truly had the power to condemn, chose mercy. For the first time in a long time, no, maybe ever, she felt it--love.
That day the woman caught in adultery became the woman who gave up guilt. In giving up condemnation, she began to take up freedom. In mercy she finally found love, God's love. It was what she needed all the time.
How about you? Ready to give up guilt for grace? Condemnation for freedom? Self-loathing for God's love?
"Neither do I condemn you." Jesus
Romans 8:1
Cos
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