Boogie Woogie Wedding

If you haven't seen, heard, read about, tweeted, blogged or received by ESP the dancing wedding party then the rest of this article will make no sense. If you have been on another planet, say like Arkansas, you may have missed it. Two weekends ago a couple getting married in Minnesota (ehh) eschewed tradition and had their entire wedding party dance into the church to the strains of a modern pop-rock song. The video set records for hits on Youtube, caught the attention the nation and was re-enacted on NBC's Today show last weekend. It was quite a show to say the least. It was fun, maybe even hilarious and a real attention getter. Young people strutting their stuff and really enjoying the moment. Some had rehearsed a little bit and did the same dance moves down the aisle. One groomsman did handstands. The groom turned a summersault down the aisle and the bride boogied down with the best of them while the minister swayed at the alter. And why shouldn't they have fun? It's a celebration and hopefully the most joyous day of their lives, so go for it. But hold on just a moment. Let me think about this. Something catches in my spirit. I've always prided myself on not being an old fudddy-duddy (see I'm not sure how to even spell "fuddy-duddy, maybe its 'ie.'), quickly adopting new things and not writing things off just because no one ever did it that way before. Maybe I'm just getting old and too set in my ways but something was missing in all the fun of the "unwedding" march to matrimony in Minnesota and I needed a few days to put thoughts together. What was wrong? What was missing? What kept me from all out endorsement with a view toward duplication? It it this: it was a wedding, with vows to God, to one another, and yes, even to the community of witnesses. This most joyous occasion is also one of the most serious. It is one of worship and of giving and receiving the blessing of God. One could see the joy in the dancing down the aisle but where was the reverence for the vows and the main One in whose name the vows are given? Can the shift from Watusi to worship be made that quickly? And perhaps the bigger rub is this: God is left out or at least horribly hidden in the antics of the wedding party. Almost no one heard the vows given after that entrance, no one was moved by the prayer of the minister, few probably worshipped the Lord God for the blessing of marriage He provided. Their minds were flooded by the sights and sounds they had just experienced and the focus was squarely on the wedding party, not the Honored Guest of God's Spirit. The Minnesota Mambo merely highlighted what has happened to marriage in general over the years. The focus has shifted, if it ever was there, to the bride and groom instead of the God who brings them together for companionship, pleasure, and a Godly linage. The focus has become the wedding ceremony instead of the marriage. Families spent thousands and thousands of dollars on the wedding and almost no time or money in preparing for marriage. A few years ago when I pastored in Burnet, the average wedding in Austin was $32,000.00. Average wedding! Will the half of those marriages that are statistically headed for divorce spend any where near that in counseling to hold it together? Probably not. Where God intends the marriage to be the soil in which greater love and commitment grow, it has become merely the vehicle for personal fulfillment in our society apart from the spiritual designs Christ intended. The deadly reversal in marriage is that society treats God as though He existed to bless the married with no reciprocation in the hearts of the man and wife. Ideally, in the commitment of marriage the couple learns more of who the Trinity is and how the true community of the Trinity can be learned and lived out in the growing community of the home. The intimacy and the ecstasy the Godhead enjoys with one another is to be learned, enjoyed and shared by the couple in marriage and the resulting strength, beauty and love will both point the greater community to the greatness of God and transform the culture by its true strength of joy and blessing. So dance back up the aisle at the end if you must. Turn it loose at the reception and dance the night away. But for God's sake, and really your marriages' sake, focus on Christ's presence in Holy awe and reverence as you seek His purpose and blessing in your vows and live them in your marriage. Then the high point of your marriage won't be had coming down the aisle, but in your enjoying the dance of life lived to glory to God. Cos