Monday, December 15, 2008

A Christmas Without

It's not good to set out the nativity scene when you're mad at the preacher. All that stuff he wrote about no donkey, no wise men, no innkeeper or stable just ticked her off. She fairly slammed Melchior down beside the manger. "Well, MY nativity scene has wise men!" It was at that moment that the tears came and Fran just slumped down on the floor beside the hearth. After a few minutes she gathered her thoughts again and tried to figure out where that outburst came from. It probably wasn't just the pastor's article. It was everything else that happened that year. Her divorce was nine months past and her ex wasn't around last Christmas but it still hurt and still made her mad. Her dad's health had taken a downturn and he would spend this Christmas in the nursing home. Fran hated that prospect. The kids were grown with their own traditions for family to take care of and wouldn't be in until later on Christmas day. That magnified the loneliness of decorating a tree and trying to put out the Christmas cheer with no one to enjoy it. The thoughts that haunted her the most were about her oldest grandson who would spend this Christmas in Afghanistan. The fear and sadness were too much some days. Fran remembered to stop a moment and count her blessings. She had two days off work for Christmas and had two vacation days left so she could rest, cook, and enjoy the kids and grand kids when they finally would make it in. She had survived the latest round of layoffs at work and she was thankful for the job. Of course, everyone who remained was expected to pick up the extra work. If she could just hang on a few more years she would seriously considering retirement. That's another reason to be mad at the man she once called husband. No sooner had the anger begin to rise again when came the interruption of the doorbell. It was Jackson, next door neighbor's youngest child. She wiped her face, put on a semi-fake smile and opened the door. "Say Jack, wassup?" He giggled at the way she said that. " Not much, Fran. Mom wanted you to have these cookies and I wanted to ask you a question." "Fire away, Jackson." "Well, our kid's choir is singing at church tonight and I was wondering if you could come. I've got a song I sing by myself. Anyway, I hope you can come. It starts at 6. Bye." Judging by the loose wrapper on the plate and the chocolate on his face, Fran figured Jackson had tested one of the cookies on his way to her door. How do you tell a nine year old with chocolate chip cookie on his face "no?" So Fran guessed she would be at church tonight. The kids were cute. Jackson sang very well. But the most remarkable thing about that evening were the songs. They weren't really sung any better than most kid's choirs. She just needed to hear the simple truths of the Christmas carols again. It was going to be a Christmas without a husband; a grandson without his family in a faraway place; a father without his own home. In this year of brokenness, loneliness, anger, doubt, fear, and exhaustion the Christmas songs reminded her of why there was a Christmas in the first place. The world was broken, fearful, exhausted, and alone without God in their lives. So He came. Fran thought to herself that there were many things she was without this Christmas. She laughed at herself for getting mad at the preacher earlier. Maybe there was no donkey at the first Christmas, or no wise men or no innkeeper but the world was not without a Savior. He is Immanuel- God with us. Terry Quote wanted from Sunday's sermon(12-14-08)"Joy is dancing to a rhythm the world cannot hear but the heart faithful to Jesus cannot miss." author unknown

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