Thursday, March 1, 2012
A Healing Touch
A Healing touch
It surprises no one even vaguely familiar with Jesus that He touches people- all kinds of people-even people some folks thought he shouldn't be touching. He touched lepers in Mark 1 and Luke 5. He touched disabled and diseased people all the time, demon possessed ones, even a couple of dead ones (Luke 7&8). In the Jewish traditions this would make him "unclean" for a time. No news there unless you are sick, demon possessed, dead or will ever face these problems. Then it is good to know.
But did you ever notice who touched Jesus? Who is it that desired to touch Jesus? A couple of examples come to mind from Luke's gospel. In Luke 7 a "sinful" woman shows up at a dinner hosted by a Pharisee named Simon. That was nice of him to ask Jesus to supper. As it happens, a woman of ill repute, often guessed to be a whore, shows up while the dinner guests are reclining to eat (they ate around a "u" shaped low table, in a prone position, propped up on their left hand, reaching over to a common serving area) and begins to wash Jesus' feet with tears and anoint them with perfume. The Pharisee was incensed (pardon the pun, I couldn't help it). So Jesus schools the self-righteous host on humanity, humility, love and forgiveness. But the heroine in this story is this sinful woman. She crosses social, religious, and gender barriers to get to Jesus and touch Him. She touched Him.
A chapter later, in Luke 8:40-48, on the way to perform one miracle, another miracle happens. A lady with a bleeding disorder, probably gynecological in nature, reaches out and touches the hem of Jesus' garment as He walks by. Rabbis in Jesus' day wore a shaw of sorts that was hemmed around with tassels. When the rabbi would lift up his hands to pray or cover his head to pray the folds of the shaw and the tassels formed a view reminescent of a bird's wings being spread. A Jewish belief was that the expected Messiah had "healing in His wings." (Malachi 4:2) So when this woman wanted to touch the hem of Jesus' garment she was acknowledging her belief that Jesus was the long awaited Messiah and that He could heal her. Jesus did and commended her faith. But notice: she wanted to touch Him.
All kinds of people need to be touched by the grace, love, forgiveness, and mercy of God. It is the church's calling and joy to reach out as the hands and feet of Jesus and touch the lost, hurting, sick, and marginalized in our world. But who wants to touch us? And why don't more want to touch the body of Christ, His church?
Maybe it never occured to them they could or should. Maybe they see too many walls, barriers to cross. These brave women from Luke 7&;8 cross a lot of barriers to get to Jesus. They saw something in Him that made them believe it was worth the cost and they took the gamble. I still believe that when people see something of Jesus in His church they will want to touch us. I still believe there are barriers of race, gender, economics, and fear that those in the church can tear down. Take a look and take a crowbar. But answer this question:
Who is touching you?
Cos
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Fingerprints on the Stained Glass
Fingerprints on the Stained Glass
I wouldn't have even noticed if I hadn't read in a building committee report about not all the lights working on the stained glass windows in the chapel. The stained glass on the sides of the chapel and up above the choir are beautiful. But when you live with beauty you can sometimes take it for granted. Two of the stained glass windows are back lit as they aren't "outside"windows. Apparently, the lights aren't working on them.
On rare occasions I will go into the chapel to sit and soak, meditate, pray, wonder, breathe, think, not think, and have a little fun (yes, I lead a dull life) looking at the large stained glass up front. I've neglected to really study the ones on the side depicting the life of Jesus. There are eight of them. They may not be in perfect order but with wonderful colors and surprising detail they show the birth of Jesus; Jesus at the Temple confounding the teachers; His baptism; the sermon on the mount; the woman at the well; His death; His resurrection and His ascension. As with the stained glass of ancient Spain, the Middle East,and Europe one could tell the story of Jesus by following the stained glass around the sanctuary. To those centuries ago who couldn't read, it was a great visual way to learn the essentials of the life of Jesus. For us today, who, although we can read the Bible, are sensitized to visual mediums the stained glasses help us "see" the story. They are purdy, too.
Now I am about to tell you something that I fear to tell you. I fear to tell you because some goody two shoes church-ey person will try to fix what they see as a problem and I see as a good thing. The stained glass has fingerprints on it. That's a good thing. All the beauty, all the lessons, all the history, all the meaning is lost if sinners like me can't get our hands on it. If Jesus can't be "gotten hold of"' and contact me and my world with the truths in those glasses, then its just pretty glass that is nice to glance at from time to time.
But here is another truth, maybe the best truth. When you look closely, really closely, squinting your eyes and tilting your head and heart at just the right angle of faith, I think you will see fingerprints from the inside of the glass. I wonder..........
This I know, Christianity is not a stained glass faith, fragile and to be kept at a respectable distance for viewing only. How do I know? Jesus has fingerprints. They were all over doors, tables, tools, wood he worked and lives He touched. Wow, a God with fingerprints. Don't try to clean them off.
Have they touched your heart?
Thursday, February 16, 2012
You Shall Know the Truth, and the Truth Shall Make You Odd
Flannery O'Conner was right on so many levels when she paraphrased the scripture from John's gospel (8:32). The truth will make you odd in many ways and in many circles, even in and around church. Church-ey stuff revolves around tradition, habits, guidelines, history, rules, regulations, manuals, and oh, yeah, the teachings of the Bible. But if you look closely, shoot, you don't even have to look that close, Jesus was pretty non-conformist. His teachings really got under the skin of the religious establishment. They still do.
The truth can make you odd at church and I accept that. The non-conformist, the courteous rebel, as Dr. Nat Tracy used to call them, will forever be pointing out biblical truth, the effects of ministries or the lack of them on forgotten groups or the underdogs in our culture and the world. They will challenge us to think through actions and attitudes to make sure ministries are solidly grounded on the truth as revealed in scripture. In short, these courteous rebels are a pain in the soul. God bless 'em and may their tribe increase.
The truth doesn't just make you odd at church. It can really make you odd in the larger society. Truth about freedom, morality, justice, equality, bigotry, marriage, love, sex, abuse, spending, greed, addiction and a lot of other subjects we don't touch on much at church any more will make you odd. People like to be free to make their own choices with regard to all the above mentioned subjects. The odd thing about life is that if you choose wrongly, slavery and bondage is the result. In Romans 1: 25 talks about a group who practiced forms of idolatry and exchanged the truth of God for a lie. The results was bondage to shameful and sinful lifestyles. This pattern has been repeating itself since the garden of Eden. And so today, we are seeing the results of these patterns. Well, I'm not going to list them here, just read Romans 1:28-32 and note the words Paul uses as he describes what happens to people who have exchanged the truth for lies.
Be careful here, the point from Paul and my pointing these things out is not harsh judgement and finger pointing at "those people'' who have messed up things. The question is about how to move away from slavery and bondage, for that matter even harsh judmentalism, and into joy and freedom. Here are a few thoughts on that....
Remember what Jesus really said in John 8:31-32: If you hold to my teaching, your are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth and the truth will set (make) you free. Truth is found in Christ's teachings and following them. Then comes freedom. By the way, that's not a catch, but an invitation.
Remember also what Jesus said about Himself in John 14:6. I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. Truth, you see, is not just prepositional, it is personal. We debate, argue, and interpret and re-interpret prepositional truth; we follow a the Person of Jesus and discover truth.
Commit yourself to the Truth. The Holy Spirit's job is to guide you into all truth (John 16:13-14). It has been our tradition not to allow ourselves to be led too well at times. When we commit ourselves to the hand of God's Spirit to move, make, re-arrange, add, subtract, multiply the attitudes of heart and mind know this: He will do it. He will show you the stuff of Ps. 139:23-24 as well as Jeremiah 33:3 (sorry, you know how this goes, you have to look them up yourself.) Be careful what you pray for but know the results will be true freedom.
Accept, nay embrace your oddness with which the mantle of truth has enveloped you. You will be at odds with accepted ways of doing life's business. Sometimes even at church. No need to be hurt as if you are persecuted as no one ever was before or haughty as if you had some special knowledge no one else has ever experienced. The truth will set you free and also give you peace. No need to fight in anger or react from wounded pride. We are told to speak the truth in love. We don't dictate the results, we trust that to the Lord.
Be humble with your new commitment to Truth. You and I will never have all of it to ourselves. We need Truth as others have learned it, experienced it, and lived it. This is a part of the joy of discovery.
We need Truth---not a dose, not a corrective, not a little, but unadulterated, undiluted, unabashed Truth that we love and live by, for and with. We have too often abandoned it for sentiment, nostalgia, acceptance from others and the world, popularity, success, power, and a hundred lesser gods. We need truth. It will make you odd but in this crazy world that's not a bad thing.
It will also make you free.
Cos
The truth can make you odd at church and I accept that. The non-conformist, the courteous rebel, as Dr. Nat Tracy used to call them, will forever be pointing out biblical truth, the effects of ministries or the lack of them on forgotten groups or the underdogs in our culture and the world. They will challenge us to think through actions and attitudes to make sure ministries are solidly grounded on the truth as revealed in scripture. In short, these courteous rebels are a pain in the soul. God bless 'em and may their tribe increase.
The truth doesn't just make you odd at church. It can really make you odd in the larger society. Truth about freedom, morality, justice, equality, bigotry, marriage, love, sex, abuse, spending, greed, addiction and a lot of other subjects we don't touch on much at church any more will make you odd. People like to be free to make their own choices with regard to all the above mentioned subjects. The odd thing about life is that if you choose wrongly, slavery and bondage is the result. In Romans 1: 25 talks about a group who practiced forms of idolatry and exchanged the truth of God for a lie. The results was bondage to shameful and sinful lifestyles. This pattern has been repeating itself since the garden of Eden. And so today, we are seeing the results of these patterns. Well, I'm not going to list them here, just read Romans 1:28-32 and note the words Paul uses as he describes what happens to people who have exchanged the truth for lies.
Be careful here, the point from Paul and my pointing these things out is not harsh judgement and finger pointing at "those people'' who have messed up things. The question is about how to move away from slavery and bondage, for that matter even harsh judmentalism, and into joy and freedom. Here are a few thoughts on that....
Remember what Jesus really said in John 8:31-32: If you hold to my teaching, your are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth and the truth will set (make) you free. Truth is found in Christ's teachings and following them. Then comes freedom. By the way, that's not a catch, but an invitation.
Remember also what Jesus said about Himself in John 14:6. I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. Truth, you see, is not just prepositional, it is personal. We debate, argue, and interpret and re-interpret prepositional truth; we follow a the Person of Jesus and discover truth.
Commit yourself to the Truth. The Holy Spirit's job is to guide you into all truth (John 16:13-14). It has been our tradition not to allow ourselves to be led too well at times. When we commit ourselves to the hand of God's Spirit to move, make, re-arrange, add, subtract, multiply the attitudes of heart and mind know this: He will do it. He will show you the stuff of Ps. 139:23-24 as well as Jeremiah 33:3 (sorry, you know how this goes, you have to look them up yourself.) Be careful what you pray for but know the results will be true freedom.
Accept, nay embrace your oddness with which the mantle of truth has enveloped you. You will be at odds with accepted ways of doing life's business. Sometimes even at church. No need to be hurt as if you are persecuted as no one ever was before or haughty as if you had some special knowledge no one else has ever experienced. The truth will set you free and also give you peace. No need to fight in anger or react from wounded pride. We are told to speak the truth in love. We don't dictate the results, we trust that to the Lord.
Be humble with your new commitment to Truth. You and I will never have all of it to ourselves. We need Truth as others have learned it, experienced it, and lived it. This is a part of the joy of discovery.
We need Truth---not a dose, not a corrective, not a little, but unadulterated, undiluted, unabashed Truth that we love and live by, for and with. We have too often abandoned it for sentiment, nostalgia, acceptance from others and the world, popularity, success, power, and a hundred lesser gods. We need truth. It will make you odd but in this crazy world that's not a bad thing.
It will also make you free.
Cos
Thursday, February 9, 2012
God's Not Down With That
Some folks struggle with it, others, many others do not. Some in their struggle are burdened, conflicted, and disturbed. Some in their non-struggle are free, easy, unburdened and at peace with their world. I'm not sure who I feel worse for, the strugglers or the non-strugglers.
Some people struggle with the questions of what God allows, what is He 'okay' with regarding morality, societal mores, personal choices, lifestyles and just what He requires. Some people evidently never consider such questions. In your view is God lenient or a hard task-master requiring all to "toe the line" and He will get them in the end if they don't?
Maybe He is neither. Maybe we are asking the wrong questions. Maybe if we were honest we'd admit we are asking 'how much can I get by with without smelling sulphur and brimstone' or we are asking 'how little is required' to get me in the pearly gates. Some feel religion is a great way to circumvent the rules and slide in through the side door where St. Peter slides open a little door at eye level on the big door and asks: "what's the password?" "Well, I was a good Baptist, Catholic, Methodist....my grandfather was a preacher...... I gave $20 to disaster relief when that hurricane hit and my wife is a saint...." We will show him our religion card, remind him we are better than _________, and tell him we are really sorry if 'the man upstairs' wasn't always happy with the choices we made." That ought to do it, right? If it is a test that only requires a score of 51 on a scale of 100 to enjoy life and get into heaven, maybe so. What if life and faith isn't graded on a curve but on the Christ? What if the question is not just what I do but who I am? What if the requirement is holiness as God defines it? What if under those conditions none of us qualifies? Then there would have to be another way or there's no way.
The other way is Jesus, God in the flesh, redeeming sin and offering eternal life. Life and eternity are built on God's grace not my goodness. Abundant life and eternity become possibilities not by my obedience but my obedience becomes possible by my choice to respond freely to His love and offer of forgiveness. Life with all its joys means not how well I follow the rules but how deeply I fall in love with Christ and from a position of thankfulness, freedom, joy, and trust, I live, I do, I choose attitudes and actions that honor, please, uplift, and bring joy to the heart of Jesus.
Then we no longer will question what we can get by with, how much is enough or how little is required but we will ask how can I learn to follow my closely, love more deeply, respond more freely, and serve more sacrificially the Savior I love. No, God is not pleased with any and everything humans do. Jesus charged through the temple courts overturning tables set up to do a shady business where gentiles were suppose to be able to pray. He was hacked. Jesus told Peter in Matthew 16 to get behind me Satan, you are a stumbling block not thinking on the things of God but men. In Matthew 23, Jesus called the most religious, outwardly moral folks of his day hypocrites, blind guides, snakes, greedy, self-indulgent and bound for hell. God is not down with any and everything we do, think, feel, or say but it should be the love of Christ that constrains us ( 2 Cor: 5:14).
Paul wrote in Titus 2: 11-14: For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us to say "No" to ungodliness and worldy passion, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in the present age, while we wait for the blessed hope- the glorious appearing of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good.
Any struggles with how you love Jesus?
Cos
Some people struggle with the questions of what God allows, what is He 'okay' with regarding morality, societal mores, personal choices, lifestyles and just what He requires. Some people evidently never consider such questions. In your view is God lenient or a hard task-master requiring all to "toe the line" and He will get them in the end if they don't?
Maybe He is neither. Maybe we are asking the wrong questions. Maybe if we were honest we'd admit we are asking 'how much can I get by with without smelling sulphur and brimstone' or we are asking 'how little is required' to get me in the pearly gates. Some feel religion is a great way to circumvent the rules and slide in through the side door where St. Peter slides open a little door at eye level on the big door and asks: "what's the password?" "Well, I was a good Baptist, Catholic, Methodist....my grandfather was a preacher...... I gave $20 to disaster relief when that hurricane hit and my wife is a saint...." We will show him our religion card, remind him we are better than _________, and tell him we are really sorry if 'the man upstairs' wasn't always happy with the choices we made." That ought to do it, right? If it is a test that only requires a score of 51 on a scale of 100 to enjoy life and get into heaven, maybe so. What if life and faith isn't graded on a curve but on the Christ? What if the question is not just what I do but who I am? What if the requirement is holiness as God defines it? What if under those conditions none of us qualifies? Then there would have to be another way or there's no way.
The other way is Jesus, God in the flesh, redeeming sin and offering eternal life. Life and eternity are built on God's grace not my goodness. Abundant life and eternity become possibilities not by my obedience but my obedience becomes possible by my choice to respond freely to His love and offer of forgiveness. Life with all its joys means not how well I follow the rules but how deeply I fall in love with Christ and from a position of thankfulness, freedom, joy, and trust, I live, I do, I choose attitudes and actions that honor, please, uplift, and bring joy to the heart of Jesus.
Then we no longer will question what we can get by with, how much is enough or how little is required but we will ask how can I learn to follow my closely, love more deeply, respond more freely, and serve more sacrificially the Savior I love. No, God is not pleased with any and everything humans do. Jesus charged through the temple courts overturning tables set up to do a shady business where gentiles were suppose to be able to pray. He was hacked. Jesus told Peter in Matthew 16 to get behind me Satan, you are a stumbling block not thinking on the things of God but men. In Matthew 23, Jesus called the most religious, outwardly moral folks of his day hypocrites, blind guides, snakes, greedy, self-indulgent and bound for hell. God is not down with any and everything we do, think, feel, or say but it should be the love of Christ that constrains us ( 2 Cor: 5:14).
Paul wrote in Titus 2: 11-14: For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us to say "No" to ungodliness and worldy passion, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in the present age, while we wait for the blessed hope- the glorious appearing of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good.
Any struggles with how you love Jesus?
Cos
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Thursday, January 19, 2012
The Stars At Night...
The Stars at Night
It was one of those evenings we have occasionally. It was clear, no wind, low humidity and a temperature somewhere in the mid forties. I think the cedar pollen was relatively low that night. The air felt good to the skin, the cool air was invigorating to the lungs. I had gone out to feed the dogs, I sat down and looked up to feed my soul.
One of the advantages to White Bluff, where I live, is that there are no city lights and very, very few street lights. It is dark out here. That night was absolutely perfect for star gazing and my goodness did they ever put on a show. Any direction I turned was a symphony of light... bright to nebulous, twinkling to steady, stacked to scattered. There was so much to see that it was overwhelming and all but impossible to take it in. Soothing, thrilling, and just plain beautiful. It was a "wow" moment.
I was still somewhat mesmerized the next day when I remembered the night. I got on the computer to learn a bit more. One of those stars I guess I saw was Alpha Centauri. It is the closest star other than our sun to Whitney. It is a mere 4.24 light years away. Somewhere up there or out there is Barnard's star, the second closest at 4.6 light years away.( all distances approx. from the covered bridge in White Bluff) The farthest visible star is Star Carnae at 200 light years. The farthest galaxy clocks in at 13.2 billion light years away. A light year is 5,878,499,810 miles. There are between 200 to 400 billion stars in our Milky Way Galaxy.( I know that is a big difference but seriously, when you lose track at 87 billion and have to start counting again, any astronomer might be off by a hundred billion or two.)Do the math, those suckers are long way off. I didn't know I could see so well. The trouble is when we star gaze, we are literally looking back in history, ancient history. By the time the light from those stars reaches my back yard, they may be dead, gone, burned out. I'm seeing light that began its journey to my eyes long before my eyes or even my world was created. Turns out we can all see a long way, can't we?
We see back into history, can any of us see very far into it? No, not really. While I was sitting in the yard a couple of weeks ago about 10:30 PM I was just enjoying the show. I had a dog sitting under each hand, getting an ear rub. One of them decided to "thank" me and jumped up to give a lick--he got me right on my glasses. I took them off to clean with a hem of my tee shirt and noticed I couldn't see any stars. Unable to focus without the proper lenses their awe and beauty were lost to me. There were still there, I just couldn't access them with my weak eyes no longer assisted my glasses. I suppose many of the things of God are like that. We can see back into our history but don't realize that that old stuff is gone. We face circumstances in life where we can't see God at work, but like the stars during the day or when our faith lenses are cloudy, He is still there. Like starlight, a lot of what appears pretty and nice now, may actually be already gone. And when we can't see into the future, we can always look by faith to Jesus who always gives us enough vision to
follow Him into it.
The vastness of the universe I can't begin to comprehend. I just enjoy the show and marvel at its beauty on starry, starry nights. And God is bigger and His love more vast and almost beyond comprehension is this truth: He loves you and me. You won't get that message from the stars but from the One who hung them and named them (Ps.147:4) and demonstrated that love for us that while we were yet sinners, He died for us. (Romans 5:8) At least a part of eternity should be to gaze into that truth for a few light years and let it sink in.
Deep in the heart,
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
A "To Do" List
I finished my "to do" list for the year, unfortunately the year in mind is 2009. Oops, all the official documents in my life say it is 2012 but not one nerve fiber in my body, mind, or spirit will attest to that fact. It can't be. Looking back on 2011 I have to confess that I accomplished nothing...diidly squat, goose-egged, nada, the big "O." Most who read this blog are kind-hearted positive folk who will try to counter that last statement. All eight of you search in vain. There's nothing there. Let me share what didn't happen last year....
I didn't win the Pulitzer Prize for literature. True, I thought I had a better shot in 2010 but no one even nominated me this year. I haven't figured out if this fact should make me try harder, give up or find a more influential group than the eight who read this thing. The Pulitzer process being what it is I'm not sure if anyone I know could even get in the nominating circle. Maybe next year, oh wait, next year is already this year, dang!
I also didn't break 80 on the golf course. Now technically I guess I did break 80 but it was usually by the 14th or 15th hole that I passed it going up. It's also true that I spent little time on the driving range or putting green but I would have thought luck would have had some effect. I also know that those eastern religions with some thing called "karma" aren't true either because I supplied the golf course with plenty of extra balls in her woods and lakes. Such offerings should have brought lots of good karma but nope, not a bit. I have to be lucky or forgetful to break 90 now. I have gotten lots of satisfaction walking the course and finding golf balls. I have actually gone back out on my walks and found balls I had lost a day or two before. That's the only part of my game that has improved.
I didn't get to New York this past year either. Pam and I have been talking about it for years. I can actually see it happening now whereas before it was just a silly hope. In fact, I've saved enough that with only four thousand more dollars Pam and I will go. It may not be 2012 but it's closer.
I also didn't go on a spiritual retreat this past year. There were some real, unavoidable reasons for it in 2011 but the bottom line was I didn't make it. Part of the problem is where I live. You are suppose to go to a quiet place where you can commune with nature, relax and maybe recreate a little. On retreat you take time to think, pray, and discover anew and afresh who the Lord is and who you are in Him. You see the problem, I live in a place like that all the time! My "retreat" needs to be be street preaching in the hustle and bustle of noisy Houston, LA or New York. Hey, maybe I could go to New York, preach in the streets and use my convention money and call it a spiritual retreat. Well, if I hadn't just put it in a blog maybe I could have....
One other thing I didn't do in 2011. I didn't die. Its not that it was on the agenda or my bucket list but I guess that was one thing I accomplished in 2011. It took a lot of grace for that to happen, too. I seem to recall some truths taught about dying to self in the context of following Christ. Yeah, that needs to happen better in 2012. The truth is, it is very unlikely that I will win the Pulitzer Prize in 2012 or any year that begins with "20." I am not a good golfer. I may never break "80." There is still a little hope there but it fades with every slice. We will get to New York but the real plans of living life have more to do with visiting family and church members than Broadway. And one day I will die. I don't know if it is 2012 or 2020. I can't see those things but I can see the dying to self, ambition, pride, having to have my way, having to be right and coming more alive to Jesus, His life and His will and joy more than ever. And if that happens more in 2012 then the things that don't happen won't matter any more than they did in 2011.
Gotta go, it's almost Christmas,
Cos
I didn't win the Pulitzer Prize for literature. True, I thought I had a better shot in 2010 but no one even nominated me this year. I haven't figured out if this fact should make me try harder, give up or find a more influential group than the eight who read this thing. The Pulitzer process being what it is I'm not sure if anyone I know could even get in the nominating circle. Maybe next year, oh wait, next year is already this year, dang!
I also didn't break 80 on the golf course. Now technically I guess I did break 80 but it was usually by the 14th or 15th hole that I passed it going up. It's also true that I spent little time on the driving range or putting green but I would have thought luck would have had some effect. I also know that those eastern religions with some thing called "karma" aren't true either because I supplied the golf course with plenty of extra balls in her woods and lakes. Such offerings should have brought lots of good karma but nope, not a bit. I have to be lucky or forgetful to break 90 now. I have gotten lots of satisfaction walking the course and finding golf balls. I have actually gone back out on my walks and found balls I had lost a day or two before. That's the only part of my game that has improved.
I didn't get to New York this past year either. Pam and I have been talking about it for years. I can actually see it happening now whereas before it was just a silly hope. In fact, I've saved enough that with only four thousand more dollars Pam and I will go. It may not be 2012 but it's closer.
I also didn't go on a spiritual retreat this past year. There were some real, unavoidable reasons for it in 2011 but the bottom line was I didn't make it. Part of the problem is where I live. You are suppose to go to a quiet place where you can commune with nature, relax and maybe recreate a little. On retreat you take time to think, pray, and discover anew and afresh who the Lord is and who you are in Him. You see the problem, I live in a place like that all the time! My "retreat" needs to be be street preaching in the hustle and bustle of noisy Houston, LA or New York. Hey, maybe I could go to New York, preach in the streets and use my convention money and call it a spiritual retreat. Well, if I hadn't just put it in a blog maybe I could have....
One other thing I didn't do in 2011. I didn't die. Its not that it was on the agenda or my bucket list but I guess that was one thing I accomplished in 2011. It took a lot of grace for that to happen, too. I seem to recall some truths taught about dying to self in the context of following Christ. Yeah, that needs to happen better in 2012. The truth is, it is very unlikely that I will win the Pulitzer Prize in 2012 or any year that begins with "20." I am not a good golfer. I may never break "80." There is still a little hope there but it fades with every slice. We will get to New York but the real plans of living life have more to do with visiting family and church members than Broadway. And one day I will die. I don't know if it is 2012 or 2020. I can't see those things but I can see the dying to self, ambition, pride, having to have my way, having to be right and coming more alive to Jesus, His life and His will and joy more than ever. And if that happens more in 2012 then the things that don't happen won't matter any more than they did in 2011.
Gotta go, it's almost Christmas,
Cos
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